Trailer Parks

London has trailer parks! Can I just tell you how funny that was to me? Hilarious! Now of course they call them a much more refined name; Caravan parks. They are nicer than your run of the Easley trailer parks. Apparently they are summer homes for retirees. But say what you want, call it what you want, a trailer park is a trailer park is a trailer park. I knew that I would be just fine when I saw that on the drive from the airport. If I can get a picture of one I will of course faithfully post it. London trailer parks! I wonder if they wear mu mus here too!

Dinner Rolls to die for

A 62 year old man in Michigan was killed after arguing with his daughter over dinner rolls. The man was stabbed to death. A gun was also used durring the argument. The police later found the daughter hiding behind the house... Genius... and consider her a suspect.

Now I have had some really amazing food in my life. There have even been a few that might make me stab you in the hand if you reached for mine. But I doubt that there will ever come a dinner roll that I would kill for. I mean really? I can see it now, it was probably some of those rolls that everyone buys at Thanksgiving. You know the ones I am talking about. They are all one big attached sheet pan of white rolls with the lines cut into the tops of them. they brown up nice but they will be bricks if you leave them in one minute too long. But they are good for soppin up some gravy. Yeah, you know which ones I mean. I like those things, in their own place, but I'll be damned if I am stabbing anyone to get'em.

The whole crowd? Really?

I never knew you could eject a crowd from a game. Not someone in the crowd, the WHOLE crowd. An Umpire, Don Briggs, said that the entire crowd at a high school baseball game was too unruly to remain at the game... and ejected ALL of them. He also called the cops as a precaution. The school superintendent and the officer saw no unruly behavior, and the game resumed after a 40 minute delay. The Ump didn't even have an issue with any of the players, merely the entire crowd.

And now for the moment with Captaiiiiinnnnn Oooooobvious...

The Superintendent said that he just thought that the Ump over-reacted.

Your moment with Captain Obvious was brought to you by Umpire Don Briggs.

Warning:

I just want to warn all of my readers that for the month of July this post will be more dear diary than ode to randomness. I won't be boring you with tiny details, but I will be chronicling my trip to London and other European hot spots as I visit them, both with pictures and comments. So if you are not interested, please check back in August. All will be back to normal (sadly) then. Otherwise stay tuned,the Adventures of Ms. Red in London will begin soon! I sure hope Europe's ready for me!!!

6/25/09 A sad sad day...

RIP

I miss your snarky ways....

Please feel free to comment and mock the things you read here on my blog. I look forward to it! I need it! I miss it when it's gone, I.... well let's just say it gets lonely here in blogosphere, if no one else but me has anything to say. I talk to myself all the time. It's nice to hear from someone other than the voices in my head! So comment, call, email, or otherwise harangue me for my words. It brings meaning and light into my life. Oh and... tell you friends :D

News from Captain Obvious...

Can't you just hear the announcer's voice say that?

"And now for news from Captaaaaaiiiin OOOOObvious...."

I think that since we have sections in my blog for News from the World of Stupid,and many Episodes of Good Idea, Bad Idea it is time to add a new classification of "news."

So I now bring to you the first episode of News from Captaaaaaiiiiinnn OOOOObvious...

Mia Washington gave birth to twin boys almost a year ago. It was wonderful, until she noticed that the older the boys got, the more different they looked. Most people would just assume it was a freak genetic thing and go on about life. Mia went and got a DNA test. Why you ask? Well she knew she did the naughty with someone other than her "baby daddy" So it Seems like what had happened was...
She had slept wif two different mens at the same time and got pregnant by both of them... at the same time.
There is a happy ending. The father of one of the twins says he has forgiven Mia and will raise the other boy as his own. Awww yay.... but wait... Mia would like to offer everyone some sage advice...

"I'm trying to let everybody else know: Don't put yourself in my shoes, because it can hurt and it does hurt, but you still have to go on with life"

Well Thank you Captain Obvious.... getting pregnant by two men at the same time... bad idea. Who knew?

This concludes your first episode of News from Captaaaaaiiiiinnnnn OOOOObvious....

Another episode of Good Idea, Bad Idea

Good Idea... Wanting to marry for love. Bad Idea.... Cutting off your own penis when denied marrying for love. I think I finally understand that phrase my mom always used to say. "You're cutting off your nose to spite your face." I get it now. I feel bad for the guy. He tried unsuccessfully to get his parents to allow him to marry the woman he loved. She was in a much lower class than him and the parents wouldn't allow it. So rather than marry someone his parents arranged for him, he made himself damaged goods. But really? I don't care how much I love someone, I am not damaging my goods!
This concludes another episode of Good Idea, Bad Idea.

Speaking of stupid parents...see next post first...

One boy was killed and another one was in critical condition after being struck by lightning. The boys were playing in a little league game when severe thunderstorms rolled in. The game was cancelled, AND EVERYONE WAS ORDERED OFF THE FIELD. The storms were knocking out power and causing floods. These two boys parents decided that they knew better and allowed the boys to remain on the field playing catch. They learned quick that staying on a field during thunderstorms, is a BAD idea. I almost want to ask, what kind of idiot lets their kid play in a thunderstorm, but I already know. The thing is these parents probably won't understand that it was their fault the boy died. They will think that it was just a freak accident. That it was God's will. It was just a terrible tragedy. No you are just a dumb ass. This is why some people should not reproduce.

Too stupid to have children

Now, I believe that there are people who really are too stupid to have children. And I am sure that you know the people I am talking about. I am not convinced that this woman is one of those. I am not saying that she's not, just that I am not convinced that she is.

Rachel's IQ is 71. The average person is usually between 90-109. Now, I know that there are people with Downs, that can and have been taught, not only to be self sufficient, but to care for offspring. The British courts have ruled that Rachel can not care for her child. Now the social workers are saying she was not really around when her child was in the hospital because the baby was born 13 weeks premature. Basically they say that she abandoned the child and that she doesn't truly understand the gravity of the situation.This is a factor that I am not going into. According to the article, there is an awful lot of he said she said.

Here's the thing. If a parent proves that they can't take care of the child then the child should be removed. This woman has not even been given the opportunity but deemed unfit due to stupidity. The child is now a toddler and Rachel gets to see her for 90 minutes a month under highly supervised visits. When the child is adopted she will not be able to see the child at all. I think it is a bit presumptuous of the court to rule on someone who has never been allowed the chance to care for her child.

I will comment that on first glance, keeping stupid parents from their children seems an interesting idea. I think however if the courts were to truly rule whether a parent was too stupid to have kids, half the US would not have parental rights. I think it might be a better option to rule someone too stupid to have kids in the first place. Then we could solve the overpopulation issue and the breeding of stupid people (see Idiocracy) all in one foul swoop. Test them when they get close to the years where they could begin to reproduce. If they are too stupid then have them fixed. (Please have your pets and your stupid friends, spayed or neutered.)

I just want to say...

I love my new camera!!! No this is not important, pressing or even interesting news. But since this is my blog I can do what I like! So... I love my new camera. I was on the back row in the Charlotte Verizon Wireless amphitheater, right before the grass starts, when I snapped this pic. Not bad if I say so myself. And I do say so myself.

I would like to draw your attention to Gwen's abs. She is pushing fourty and looks like she's twenty. I hate her.... or at least I would if I didn't like her so much.

It's furniture for black people and white people...

This commercial is hysterical, and it actually is the TV ad for the store. The Red House Furniture place has furniture for black and whites alike. Who said we couldn't all just get along? Wacky Furniture Ad Becomes Web Sensation - AOL Small Business

Not grits, but close

Every girl who grew up in the south knows that you should keep a pot of grits on the stove to keep a man in line. If she dumps the grits on you it's like napalm. It won't come off and burns to the bone. At least this is what I have been told. Wanda Bray didn't throw Grits she threw chili. Three men broke into her home and as they did she threw things at them including a bowl of Chili to ward them off. They finally left when she took the broom to them. The men were arrested shortly after that. Maybe next time she'll keep grits on the stove just in case.

Virgins for Sale!!

A girl from Romania, who was going to school in Germany, decided to sell her virginity. Might as well make it profitable. So she posted an add on the Internet and sold her virginity to an Italian business man for 14,000 dollars. She flew to Italy and gave it up. It seems that now Germany wants her to give it up again. Germany has legalized prostitution. They are claiming that since she was in Germany when the transaction was agreed upon, it was prostitution and she should be required to pay taxes on it. Up to half the 14,000 in taxes. I always knew we were Ho's for the biggest pimp, the government, Germany just put a voice to it.

Now we know why Red Bull gives you wings

It's got cocaine in it. I guess the makers of Red Bull are taking old lessons from Coca Cola and putting them to use. Germany has banned the Red Bull Cola in many areas and is considering a nationwide ban of the drink. Red Bull says that there is no danger because they use the "de-cocainized leaves." Oh, Ok. That makes it all better.

All in all I think it's all quite silly. The other crap that is in sodas is toxic. And if you really want to get down to it, the smallest dose of caffiene in pure form is lethal.

But if you want to continue drinking Red Bull or other "energy drinks" as I will admit I do on occasion, you might want to see this next product. It's called Drank. It's to slow you down at the end of the day. It's got melatonin, valerian root, and rose hips. I think that, in high doses, valerian root can kill. Americans have been known to drink soda in extremely high doses.

So first you drink Red Bull to get going and then you drink Drank, to slow down. It all begins to sound like some bad rocker biography, or a Marilyn Monroe documentary. Cocaine or uppers to get through the day. Sleeping pills, alcohol or heroine to sleep...

"I'm going to Disney World"

It seemed for many years that inevitably after every Super Bowl there would be commercials that went something like this...

Reporter: "You just won the Super Bowl. What are you going to do now?"

Player of Winning Team: "I'm going to Disney World!"

This would then be followed by whatever promotional deal Disney was running.

I don't know if they still do that... I quit watching the Super Bowl as soon as the game ends (well unless it's Green Bay). But I couldn't help hearing that stupid commercial in my head when I read about the woman and daughter that were "kidnapped."

A couple days ago it was reported that a woman and her daughter were missing and that it could be a kidnapping. The mother frantically called 911 from the trunk the kidnappers Cadillac. The requisite two black men had car-jacked them and taken them hostage. Her daughter was in the trunk of the car with her.

What really happened was this: The woman parked the Caddi, called 911 twice and then she and the girl flew to Disney Land.

Really? That's your great escape plan? Disney? Disney who probably has more cameras on you than the government does? And do you really think that an over grown mouse, a big dog like thing aptly named Goofy, and a duck with a nasty temper are going to hide you? I'm pretty sure that even though it says Disney Land, it's not really it's own land. There isn't even a need for the mouse to extradite you. The cops can just come in and get you.

Suicidal man pushed off the bridge

A man who had held up traffic on a bridge in Beijing was pushed today. Chen Fuchao was up to his yen in debt and thought he might end it all by jumping off a bridge. The Police cordoned off the area, set up an inflatable catchy thingy and then waited. After several hours Lai Jiansheng, a passerby, asked to try and talk the man down, but he was turned down. So he went up to the bridge and snuck through the blockade. He walked right up to Chen, shook his hand and then shoved him off. Chen landed in the partially inflated emergency catchy thing while Lai smiled and saluted as he fell. Chen injured his elbow and his spine. Lai was arrested. I just think this is funny, it's like Lethal Weapon for real. Now, Lai has some sort of mental disorder, but I have to say he was right on the money here. There was something to catch the guy. The guy had held up traffic for five hours. Lai thought Chen was being selfish. Seems about right to me. And trust me it is selfish, I can speak with authority on that. So I just think that all's well that ends well. No one died. I doubt Chen will try to off himself again. Traffic was restored to normal. And the police could go about doing something more useful. Why go about arresting Lai? Does this mean I am twisted? IF it does then oh freakin' well.

Spring and Summer Veggies

One of the things I love most about the warm weather season... other than not having to be cold.... is the veggies. I love fresh veggies. Those who know me well know I was a vegetarian for a couple years. I prefer to eat vegetarian most of the time. So when summer comes around and I am able to go down the street and get local grown veggies at the Farmers market I am super happy. I grill them, bake them, saute them, skewer them, you name it. Hopefully in the next year or two I will be able to grow my own.

Well, a man in Berlin apparently loved his veggies too, particularly white Asparagus. He beat a 24 year old woman who was selling them. He claimed the price she was charging was outrageous and then beat her up. Any sane person would have just gone to another place to get them. But what do I know? White asparagus that is not grown in green houses is very seasonal. It has a short harvest time, similar to Vidalia onions. You just can't get them year round. I understand the love of the stinky pee vegetable. I will pick that stuff up and eat it with my fingers. A little salt, pepper, garlic, olive oil and a grill make Asparagus a fabulous enjoyment for me. I will not beat someone up cause I don't want to pay the high prices. Capitalism hasn't apparently fully caught on over there in Berlin. Communism doesn't make you have to take what they give you anymore. Go somewhere else. Don't beat a poor girl up for trying to make a buck.

It has been too long

I have been a very bad blogger. It has been almost two weeks I think, since my last blog. It's not even for lack of stuff to blog about. I have plenty, just you wait Henry Higgins. I think that I have just been enjoying the time off from school. Actually having one whole day a week that I am not working or at school or both, has been uber great. I only had maybe five days the entire semester where I didn't have to be anywhere but on my couch. And usually those days I still had school work to do. So I am remembering what it is like to have time to do nothing at all. It is amazingly easy to accomplish nothing at all in a day. I know that I can be a very successful nothing accomplisher for about a week or so, then I get bored. There's yard work and cleaning and visiting.... And I am a bit of a work-aholic. I am still working full time, and picking up shifts on my days off. And Thursday night is Trivia night... Yeah... Vacation is as close to retiring as I will ever get. I haven't even got my first bachelor degree and I am already contemplating how to go about getting a second one, all the while, trying to get out of the restaurant business. It's good for temporary... but I can't do this crap forever.
Well this was supposed to be a quick note that said "bad Blogger Ms Red... new posts coming soon" Guess I should not blog at two in the morning. Whenever I do you get way more than you asked for, and none of which you care about.
So here is that note I meant to write.
Bad Ms. Red for not blogging.... posts coming soon to a computer screen near you.

Everything that is wrong with Muslim society

A judge speaking at a domestic violence conference said that if a woman spends lavishly on their Aybara, the coverings women are forced to wear, and the husband slaps her for it then she deserved it. So is this to make people aware that domestic abuse is a bad thing or is it a conference of people who believe domestic violence should be perpetuated? Of course this happened in Saudi Arabia. And we wonder why terrorists come out of the middle east? When you teach violence as a way of life, bad things happen. A society where mothers and daughters are nothing but property and punching bags is a breeding ground for testosterone filled rage. The balance is tipped too far to one side. Saudi Judge Slap Wives