Dinner Rolls to die for

A 62 year old man in Michigan was killed after arguing with his daughter over dinner rolls. The man was stabbed to death. A gun was also used durring the argument. The police later found the daughter hiding behind the house... Genius... and consider her a suspect.

Now I have had some really amazing food in my life. There have even been a few that might make me stab you in the hand if you reached for mine. But I doubt that there will ever come a dinner roll that I would kill for. I mean really? I can see it now, it was probably some of those rolls that everyone buys at Thanksgiving. You know the ones I am talking about. They are all one big attached sheet pan of white rolls with the lines cut into the tops of them. they brown up nice but they will be bricks if you leave them in one minute too long. But they are good for soppin up some gravy. Yeah, you know which ones I mean. I like those things, in their own place, but I'll be damned if I am stabbing anyone to get'em.

The whole crowd? Really?

I never knew you could eject a crowd from a game. Not someone in the crowd, the WHOLE crowd. An Umpire, Don Briggs, said that the entire crowd at a high school baseball game was too unruly to remain at the game... and ejected ALL of them. He also called the cops as a precaution. The school superintendent and the officer saw no unruly behavior, and the game resumed after a 40 minute delay. The Ump didn't even have an issue with any of the players, merely the entire crowd.

And now for the moment with Captaiiiiinnnnn Oooooobvious...

The Superintendent said that he just thought that the Ump over-reacted.

Your moment with Captain Obvious was brought to you by Umpire Don Briggs.

Warning:

I just want to warn all of my readers that for the month of July this post will be more dear diary than ode to randomness. I won't be boring you with tiny details, but I will be chronicling my trip to London and other European hot spots as I visit them, both with pictures and comments. So if you are not interested, please check back in August. All will be back to normal (sadly) then. Otherwise stay tuned,the Adventures of Ms. Red in London will begin soon! I sure hope Europe's ready for me!!!

6/25/09 A sad sad day...

RIP

I miss your snarky ways....

Please feel free to comment and mock the things you read here on my blog. I look forward to it! I need it! I miss it when it's gone, I.... well let's just say it gets lonely here in blogosphere, if no one else but me has anything to say. I talk to myself all the time. It's nice to hear from someone other than the voices in my head! So comment, call, email, or otherwise harangue me for my words. It brings meaning and light into my life. Oh and... tell you friends :D

News from Captain Obvious...

Can't you just hear the announcer's voice say that?

"And now for news from Captaaaaaiiiin OOOOObvious...."

I think that since we have sections in my blog for News from the World of Stupid,and many Episodes of Good Idea, Bad Idea it is time to add a new classification of "news."

So I now bring to you the first episode of News from Captaaaaaiiiiinnn OOOOObvious...

Mia Washington gave birth to twin boys almost a year ago. It was wonderful, until she noticed that the older the boys got, the more different they looked. Most people would just assume it was a freak genetic thing and go on about life. Mia went and got a DNA test. Why you ask? Well she knew she did the naughty with someone other than her "baby daddy" So it Seems like what had happened was...
She had slept wif two different mens at the same time and got pregnant by both of them... at the same time.
There is a happy ending. The father of one of the twins says he has forgiven Mia and will raise the other boy as his own. Awww yay.... but wait... Mia would like to offer everyone some sage advice...

"I'm trying to let everybody else know: Don't put yourself in my shoes, because it can hurt and it does hurt, but you still have to go on with life"

Well Thank you Captain Obvious.... getting pregnant by two men at the same time... bad idea. Who knew?

This concludes your first episode of News from Captaaaaaiiiiinnnnn OOOOObvious....

Another episode of Good Idea, Bad Idea

Good Idea... Wanting to marry for love. Bad Idea.... Cutting off your own penis when denied marrying for love. I think I finally understand that phrase my mom always used to say. "You're cutting off your nose to spite your face." I get it now. I feel bad for the guy. He tried unsuccessfully to get his parents to allow him to marry the woman he loved. She was in a much lower class than him and the parents wouldn't allow it. So rather than marry someone his parents arranged for him, he made himself damaged goods. But really? I don't care how much I love someone, I am not damaging my goods!
This concludes another episode of Good Idea, Bad Idea.

Speaking of stupid parents...see next post first...

One boy was killed and another one was in critical condition after being struck by lightning. The boys were playing in a little league game when severe thunderstorms rolled in. The game was cancelled, AND EVERYONE WAS ORDERED OFF THE FIELD. The storms were knocking out power and causing floods. These two boys parents decided that they knew better and allowed the boys to remain on the field playing catch. They learned quick that staying on a field during thunderstorms, is a BAD idea. I almost want to ask, what kind of idiot lets their kid play in a thunderstorm, but I already know. The thing is these parents probably won't understand that it was their fault the boy died. They will think that it was just a freak accident. That it was God's will. It was just a terrible tragedy. No you are just a dumb ass. This is why some people should not reproduce.

Too stupid to have children

Now, I believe that there are people who really are too stupid to have children. And I am sure that you know the people I am talking about. I am not convinced that this woman is one of those. I am not saying that she's not, just that I am not convinced that she is.

Rachel's IQ is 71. The average person is usually between 90-109. Now, I know that there are people with Downs, that can and have been taught, not only to be self sufficient, but to care for offspring. The British courts have ruled that Rachel can not care for her child. Now the social workers are saying she was not really around when her child was in the hospital because the baby was born 13 weeks premature. Basically they say that she abandoned the child and that she doesn't truly understand the gravity of the situation.This is a factor that I am not going into. According to the article, there is an awful lot of he said she said.

Here's the thing. If a parent proves that they can't take care of the child then the child should be removed. This woman has not even been given the opportunity but deemed unfit due to stupidity. The child is now a toddler and Rachel gets to see her for 90 minutes a month under highly supervised visits. When the child is adopted she will not be able to see the child at all. I think it is a bit presumptuous of the court to rule on someone who has never been allowed the chance to care for her child.

I will comment that on first glance, keeping stupid parents from their children seems an interesting idea. I think however if the courts were to truly rule whether a parent was too stupid to have kids, half the US would not have parental rights. I think it might be a better option to rule someone too stupid to have kids in the first place. Then we could solve the overpopulation issue and the breeding of stupid people (see Idiocracy) all in one foul swoop. Test them when they get close to the years where they could begin to reproduce. If they are too stupid then have them fixed. (Please have your pets and your stupid friends, spayed or neutered.)

I just want to say...

I love my new camera!!! No this is not important, pressing or even interesting news. But since this is my blog I can do what I like! So... I love my new camera. I was on the back row in the Charlotte Verizon Wireless amphitheater, right before the grass starts, when I snapped this pic. Not bad if I say so myself. And I do say so myself.

I would like to draw your attention to Gwen's abs. She is pushing fourty and looks like she's twenty. I hate her.... or at least I would if I didn't like her so much.